Turkey, Dressing and a Side of Family Tension

Although miracles can happen, don't expect family harmony just because the holiday season is here.

"Few times during the year are more stressful than the holidays," said Dr. Linda Andrews, an assistant professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Baylor College of Medicine. "And, when people are under stress, they often resort to their worst habits."

To help family members survive the holidays without behaving like turkeys, Dr. Andrews offers the following suggestions:

* Be realistic. The holidays can foster great hopes that often create unrealistic expectations and subsequent disappointments.

* Set personal priorities. Decide in advance how you would like the holidays to go. Taking time to do one or two things that you really enjoy can make it easier to shake off frustrations and participate in family activities you might view as obligations.

* Plan how you will respond to inevitable irritations. Revisit past family gatherings to identify tension triggers and decide how you will deal with them this year without losing your social graces. Avoid taking sides if tempers flare.

* Limit "together" time if family gatherings are particularly difficult for you. Instead of a traditional family holiday weekend, consider only a brunch.

* Avoid sensitive topics. Although most people prefer to be themselves, holiday stress tends to bring out sensitivities.

* Limit alcohol consumption. Alcohol can cause unpredictable behavior when used in excess.

* Be open to change. Alternating the location of family get-togethers or who's responsible for cooking, decorating, photography and cleaning could make the holidays more fun and less stressful for everyone.

* Take care of yourself. Plenty of sleep, a healthy diet and regular exercise can help reduce stress.

When it comes to holiday stress and family tensions, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of therapy.

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©2006 Texas Medical Center

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