Self-Talk Promotes Self-Help

Although we don't usually do it out loud, we talk to ourselves all the time.

Chances are that you take that little voice inside your head for granted. In fact, right now you're probably thinking, "What little voice in my head?" That's the voice!

Having an inner dialogue with yourself can be very therapeutic. But some of us have overly critical conversations that can do more harm than good.

If you haven't paid much attention to what your inner voice is telling you, make a conscious effort to do so. Do you recognize any of the following negative self-talk?

"What a dumb thing to do! How could I be so stupid?"

"I am so fat/lazy/irresponsible/(fill in the blank)."

"I have no willpower. I'll never be able to change."

Be aware of self-defeating things you say to yourself, and see if you can figure out whose voice you're really hearing. Over time, we've recorded in our memory many critical comments we've heard from people around us. That recording starts playing every time we make a mistake or look in the mirror or feel down.

I suggest that we re-record our own positive messages over these old tapes. Start by talking back to the critical voice. You might say, "Grandma, thanks for your advice, but I have a different opinion," or "Mom, I don't mind having a cluttered house as long as I get to spend some time with my kids."

Sometimes we're afraid to say nice things about ourselves for fear of getting a big head. It takes some practice to recognize, appreciate and acknowledge your own strengths. For example, you might give yourself a hard time if you decide to watch TV instead of going for a walk. But when you make the effort to get off the couch, put on your sneakers and sweatshirt, find your house keys and go for a walk, do you pat yourself on the back?

Critical self-talk is sometimes helpful. Like Jiminy Cricket, our inner critic can help us develop good habits and avoid repeating mistakes. But the majority of the conversations inside our heads should be similar to those we'd have with any friend - pleasant and positive.

And don't be afraid to make yourself laugh. You just might become your own best friend.

The author is an associate professor of medicine at Baylor College of Medicine and principal investigator of the Women's Health Initiative.

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©2006 Texas Medical Center

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