Negotiating Can Help Stepfamilies Cope with Holidays

Holidays can give stepfamilies a chance to start new traditions.

"It's unrealistic for newly formed stepfamilies and their relatives to expect the stepfamily to function as a typical nuclear family and to carry on the same holiday traditions," says Dr. James Bray, a psychologist at Baylor College of Medicine.

"They need to realize that the children belong to more than one family, and adjust their holiday routines to accommodate the situation," he says.

Problems can arise when stepfamily members' traditions clash. Everything from how to carve a turkey to how many gifts to buy and when to open them has the potential to start an argument.

"The best way to minimize conflict is to discuss expectations before the holidays and then negotiate and compromise," says Dr. Bray, director of the department of family and community medicine's family counseling clinic and family psychology programs at Baylor.

"It's important that the stepfamily develop new rituals for celebrating holiday traditions because it gives them a sense of identity," Dr. Bray says. However, he cautions new stepparents against making dramatic changes too soon in the way the stepfamily celebrates the holidays.

- From Baylor College of Medicine

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Courtesy of Texas Medical Center News

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©2006 Texas Medical Center

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URL: http://www.tmc.edu/health_briefs/12_15_98-negotiating.html